Cleansing

So after the events of last weekend I hoped that my week and weekend would be much better this time around. Friday we were closed so I went out with some of my co-workers and we had lunch and went to the movies. It made me feel better and took my mind off of alot of things. I cleaned my house on Friday and lounged around on Saturday. Sunday is when the cleansing came. My son asked me to visit his friend's church with him on Sunday. I was hesitant at first but something told me to go. Believe me when I tell you that God will lead you to where you need to be. On the first praise song I broke down. It's something about praise & worship that connects your spirit with God. Tears started falling immediately because I surrendered to him. I stood there broken and I lifted my arms to heaven and surrendered. I gave everything that happened prior to that day to him. I cried almost the entire service. The pastor happened to be talking about marriage and giving honor where honor is due. I thought to myself...I'm not trying to hear that! But God wanted me to hear it, he wanted me to see what he has been trying to tell me. You see when you are married you are as one, submit to your husbands and husbands submit to their wife and it goes on to say that it you do wrong to each other you will recieve the wrong that you do back and God has no respect a person. You see neither one of us can be blessed, it doesn't matter who does what under God's word we are as one ( Colossians 3: 17-25). You see if the head ain't right, nothing else is. The pastor gave his own testimony about how he used to cheat and run around on his wife, but when he became a willing vessel God changed his heart. I know God can anything...I'm not putting any limitations on him ever again. In order for God to work you have to be willing...the word says whosoever will let him come (Mark 8:34). Anyway to get to my point I was in a place spiritually where I heard from God and he told me simply what to do. Watch my delivery with my husband..he told me to go straight home and tell him this: I'm sorry that I have not honored you the way a wife is supposed to honor her husband, and you have not honored me the way a husband should honor his wife. At this point there are 2 options..if you feel that you aren't ready to stop seeing other women it's time to let go, if you feel that you are willing to surrender yourself to God and let God mend this marriage then I'll give it one more shot. We are not getting blessed and it's falling down upon our children. It's time to do someting. He looked at me in amazement, he was actually speechless...he asked could we talk about it later. Wow...the words from the Lord had him speechless! I'm still waiting to finish this conversation, but I'm prepared either way. I trust my father and I know that he has my best interests at heart. I don't rely on what man says, but what God says. Many may think I'm foolish to even think about giving him one last chance, some may think it's brave....I don't know the outcome but I do not that my trust is in the Lord and I'm done with the situation. Just waiting to hear from my husband and go to the next move. I know what I have to do either way. That's deep enough for now....stay tuned