Stuck in the past

So lately for some reason I have been on the should've, could've, would'ves and it's weighing heavily on me. Your past is just what it says ...past! There is no way to change it only to move forward. Do I wish I would have known things back then that I do now...yes but lessons learned. I have been praying for the Lord to reveal to me what my pursope in this life is. I have been through so much and still going through on a daily basis. But I must say God blessed me with strength. I would also have to say that I get that strength from my mother. She is a strong woman but I don't think she knows her own strength! He knows what's best for me and I stand on his word daily! To get to the point of my post today...I have been thinking on what if I had made different choices what type of person would I be today? Honestly I had to grab my thoughts back and tell myself...there is no testimony without the TEST! God has allowed me to go through these things not only for myself... but to be a witness to someone else going through the same things I am. The one thing I have to remember is that it's all in his timing not my own. He has delivered me from so many things and I know he'll bring me through now! I was broken and he delivered me, I still have issues...no one is perfect but the key is to wake up everyday and do better than you did yesterday! I have alot of work to do...when people violate you, you have trust issues and when you have trust issues it's hard to trust anyone and sometime that goes over into your relationship with God. I had to realize that what ever happens to me in the natural don't let it penetrate my spirit! That's where my strength comes from! I have been used, abused, talked about, lied on, cheated on, misunderstood, told I would never amount to anything, failure was spoke upon me as a child...but at the age of 22 years old when I truly got saved God delivered me...I was so broken. Still dealing with the things that happened in the past. It's a healing process and there are times you feel weak, and then you feel your strength. Don't allow the devil to make you think you're unworthy of everything God has for you. That's my struggle! I guess that's deep enough for today...stay tuned...lol